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In the room with clients, my goal is to stop the “shoulds” of the world outside. We often laugh as I point to the window in my office throughout the session, referring to what’s happening out “there.” But let’s dive into this, what does it mean when we pause the “shoulds”? Out there, or more pointedly, out in the real world, we receive countless messages from dominant narratives telling us what we should want or who we should be. But how do we know which of those narratives

In Mother Hunger , Kelly McDaniel talks at length about the relational trauma you may have experienced if you are the daughter of a mother. When reflecting on your childhood, it’s unlikely that every single one of your needs was met at every given moment. So when is a person’s childhood considered “traumatic”? That likely isn’t a question we can fully answer in a blog post. Still, just asking that question, and allowing space for an honest answer, can be incredibly validatin

A common question when starting the therapy process is, “What can I expect?” Seeking therapy often carries a bit of mystery, and once started, people frequently wonder if it’s actually working. While every therapist has a unique approach, I’d like to spend some time explaining what the work looks like when we’re in the room together. Back in therapy school (what my classmates and I affectionately called our grad program), I remember a guest speaker breaking down the therapy

So far, we’ve discussed what relational power is. When relationships form, a power dynamic naturally emerges. Power dynamics refer to the ways power is distributed within relationships which can then shape influence, control, and overall impact. These dynamics are not static; they’re deeply affected by the relational power that is present as well as by external systems and social factors. We can’t talk about power without also talking about privilege. Privilege arises from in

Now that we’ve unpacked what relational power means, the next natural question is: why does it matter? When we first come into the...

Someone much wiser than me once said, “The only real power is relational power.” It’s a statement that has stayed with me for years. Relational power is defined as “the ability to influence others by utilizing the strengths found within the relationship.” Let’s explore this through a specific example. John and Fred have been close friends for quite some time. One day, John’s car breaks down, and he decides to call Fred for help. Fred, exhausted and about to take a nap, choo